Season 1: Ep.12 - On Making Decisions
(00:27)
Hello, and welcome back to Graceful Rulebreakers. I'm your host Kirsten Lee Hill, and I am so honored to have you listening today. As an entrepreneur or small business owner, especially when you were in the professional services industry, and that you are selling services… coaching, consulting, et cetera, to other people; it is critical to be strategic and intentional about what projects you take on. How you allocate your time and energy, and that is exactly what I want to talk about today; making decisions. The easy ones, the tough ones and everything in between, because the quicker and more confidently you are able to make decisions, the happier and more free, you will feel.
(01:07)
A few years back, I was struggling on a project that I didn't like. My complaint was that it didn't light me up. I was doing the work and giving it my all, but I just didn't buy into the cause, so to speak. I work with an amazing business coach, Maria tan; she is actually next week's guest, so stay tuned. And when I was struggling with not finding the value in my work, she took me through this incredible exercise that really dove into why I made the decision to take on the work in the first place. Long story short, I took that particular project on because I needed money. I was super broke and I needed an income. An opportunity came and it wasn't a great fit, but it paid some of the bills. So I took it. Maria's point was this; you can't take something for money and expect it to bring you passion or fulfillment. Great point, right? We did this exercise where we made a little grid and plotted out why I decided to take on different things. I think at the time it was love, money and try something new.
(02:13)
And over time I continued to use this process and refine it, and it's evolved into a set of three questions that I use when I'm making decisions, and that I use to reflect back on and evaluate decisions. Here they are:
Is this passion?
Is this money?
Is this credibility?
Personally, I'm really values-driven. Meaning that when I take on projects, I often do so first and foremost, because I think the work is valuable; that it is making the world a better place, which is great. What a wonderful reason to take on work; that is passion driving the decision. But of course, like all of us, I'm a human and I have needs, so I can rarely take on work only because of passion. I also have to consider money. Lastly, I consider credibility. Does this work develop me further in this space? Can it help me create a platform to further my goals and make the world a better place? Does it acknowledge me and my gifts?
(03:18)
Every decision that comes up for me, I can place somewhere on a continuum of each of these three dimensions. Some things are high on passion and low on money. Others are high in credibility and low on passion. Some are high on money and low on everything else. There are a lot of possible combinations. Thinking about these different combinations and being conscious of what drives you can help you make decisions. Maybe what you need right now in your life is passion, and you don't care that it isn't the flashiest or most prestigious project because it lights you up. Maybe what you need right now is money. And even though the work isn't super exciting or fulfilling, you want to pay your rent. Maybe you need credibility, so you're going to work for free on something that's high profile.
(04:02)
I find it really helpful to know for each project that I take on, what is the key motivator? Because if I know that, I shouldn't stress about the others. If the intention was passion and I'm not making money, well, it wasn't a money decision; it was a passion decision. If the intention was money and I'm not enjoying it or gaining credibility, well, that's okay; it was a money decision. Some decisions might be all of these things and that is amazing. I hope most decisions are high on passion, money, and credibility. The goal of this framework is to help you decide what to work on, and to have a better attitude about how you're spending your time. It is also to be transparent and take away the shame of doing something just for say money, or just for credibility.
Whatever your driver is, it's okay. Own it. I would love, love, love to always be choosing projects that completely fulfill my passion and meet my financial needs. That's the goal, right? And they're also helping me build a platform to help more people. That would be so incredible, but that isn't always reality and that's okay. So, take a step back and think about what motivates you. What are your reasons for choosing a project? And then considering all those aspects, think about how you are allocating your time right now. Are there any dimensions that you were low on? Again, the goal is to get to a space where all your needs are being met. Over time, as you develop as an entrepreneur, business owner, I say this as someone who is still developing, you may have the freedom and flexibility to take on projects that are only a hundred percent match for you. I'm not there yet and that's okay. I'm excited to be there one day and I think that thinking about these values and dimensions, and being really conscious of the choices that I'm making, are helping me to get there faster.
(05:56)
Knowing these different set points, allows you to be aware of what you need to advocate for to get what you need in your life and your business. And it's not that all relationships have to be transactional, because it just sounds so sad, but in some sense, relationships are transactional. And if what you're giving is not matched with what you're receiving, or your expectations are misaligned; you're not going to feel good. You're going to burn out, and then you're not going to be able to keep making the world a better place, which we need you to do. So, it's important that even once you've made the decision, or once you've reflected back and taken stock of what's motivating the work that you're doing, that you continue to follow up and check-in, because things change. And especially if you find yourself feeling stressed or unhappy, I want you to be able to check-in on the decisions you've made. So, when you're feeling down and questioning a decision and you've revisited things, and you know why you made the decision; passion, money, credibility… but you're also feeling a little off, like the circumstances have changed. You understand why you made the decision and yet you're still not feeling great about it.
(07:13)
I like to use these little checkpoint corollaries to our earlier questions.
Passion: am I in alignment? Do I believe in this work? Does it match my value system?
Money: am I valued? Am I being appropriately compensated for my time and effort?
Credibility: am I respected? Am I being treated with kindness? Do I feel like people care what I think, that they listen to me, that my opinion and expertise matters.
These checkpoints align with these dimensions we talked about earlier; passion, money, credibility. To check-in on passion, you see if you're in alignment. To check-in on money, you see if you're being valued. To check-in on credibility, you see if you feel respected. Here's why these questions are so important to check-in, because things change and the motivator you had for a decision may have evolved, and other factors may have popped up and if you're feeling unhappy, it's likely that something has. I know for me personally, there is literally no amount of money that can make up for me being treated disrespectfully. Even if something's like a 10 out of 10 on passion, it's super aligned, I love the work, I think it's so important, I'm getting paid a lot. If I don't feel respected, that's a no go for me; something has changed and I want out. Or as another example, I remember resigning from a piece of work because it wasn't aligned with my values and I didn't feel respected. Later, I found out that the person who replaced me was getting paid, literally like 30,000 more dollars than I was getting paid, and I remember thinking… oh my gosh, if I had been making more money, like, I probably would have stuck it out longer.
(09:16)
The point here is that there are different levels to all of these things; passion, money, credibility, different levels that can change, and paint a decision in a completely different light. There are trade-offs, and I believe it's really important to look at them with full information with your eyes wide open, look into why you decided to do things, why you are deciding or not deciding to stick with things, and just honor the values that you have in making decisions. It can be so incredibly helpful to unpack decisions and understand your motivations so that you can check-in with yourself and course correct if you need to. You can figure out what needs to change in your life and why so that you can live your best life. Asking yourself these three, technically I guess six questions, gives you information. It allows you to look at your experience and make a decision about what is working, or not working, based on your values. That is so empowering. Whether you decide to stick with a project or keep going down a given path or not, you can feel good that you are making a decision that aligns with your values. Why you made a decision is a super helpful context. The check-in is to make sure you are on a sustainable path and that the decision is feeling good in practice. I group these together as, decide now; is this passion? Is this money? Is this credibility? Check-in later; am I aligned? Am I valued? Am I respected?
(10:57)
The key takeaway is to identify your core values, your motivators for making a decision and to check-in on those later on, once the decision is already in action. For me, it's passion, money, credibility. Or when I check-in; alignment, value, and respect. For you, it might be something different, maybe some the same, maybe some different, maybe all different. This is Graceful Rulebreakers. Tweak it, make it your own, and enjoy making empowered choices. To me, the power and this system, so to speak, is naming and honoring your values, right? It's no longer just being, like, passive or pushed around by current or past decisions, or making them without really thinking about them. It's being super conscious of the motivator behind a decision, and what is important for you when you are making choices. And I think that when you name those things, specificity… I love me some specificity. When you name them, you are better able to honor them. You're clear, you see the vision, you understand why you're doing what you're doing. And it doesn't mean that it won't change. It does mean that you are informed and that you are in a better position to pivot, that you are better equipped to reflect, and that you are much more likely to succeed in whatever you're doing, because you have laid out a path for you, that is in alignment with your core values and beliefs.
