Season 1: Ep.16 - Get Intune

(00:28)

Hello and welcome back to Graceful Rulebreakers. I'm your host, Kirsten Lee Hill and I am so honored to have you join me today. I know for me, it has been an intense few weeks; a lot of emotions, a lot of overwhelming emotions… happiness, sadness, anxiety, elation. I am exhausted one minute and ready to run 10 miles the next. I've been thinking a lot about what is the best self-care for intense times like this. Times that can feel really, really overwhelming in good ways and not so good ways, and both good and not so good all at the same time. And so today, I wanted to bring y'all a bite-sized tip for self-care that you can use in intense times. And it's a two-parter.

(01:19)

First things first, honor what you need without judging it. Look, I know it's basic, it's simple, but this really takes practice. Here's the thing, I don't know what you need in this moment. Just as much as you don't know what I might need in this moment. Some people find peace in disconnecting and turning off the media, getting off of social, and you know, just stepping back. Others find peace and connection, or even get a weird sense of calm from endlessly scrolling or numbing out to Netflix. Some people may want to go out for a run. Other people might want to crawl into bed and cover themselves with a weighted blanket. Some people want to take time and prepare meals and eat super clean and healthy. And others just want to enjoy some sweets… raising my hand on that one. Here's the thing; I think that the opposite of self-care is forcing yourself to do something that isn't what your body, mind, or soul is calling for.

(02:30)

Self-care doesn't involve shoulds, right? Self-care isn't choosing what you think you should do because it's the quote unquote 'healthy thing.' Your job is to take care of yourself and your mental, emotional, spiritual health. Forcing yourself to choke down a salad or run for an hour, when you just want to grab some popcorn, watch a good romcom and cry; is not self-care. Don't force yourself to do things that don't feel good. Now, this isn't a free pass to just go nuts and indulge in quote unquote, 'unhealthy habits.' And this is where part two of the bite-size tip comes in. Get in touch with your intuition, like actively practice getting in touch with your intuition. Have you ever heard about energy testing? Honestly, I'm not sure if I do it in the traditional way, #GracefulRulebreaker probably don't… but I love it, and it's something that works really well for me. Now, I know it can work different ways for different people and honestly, knowledge is power. I would definitely recommend Googling it and looking more into it if you're interested. But today, I'm going to share my process. When I want to know if something would make me feel better or something is the good choice for me, I close my eyes, I take a deep breath and I ask.

(03:56)

So for example, right now. So I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath… Should I order a diet Coke? You laugh, right? But this is a real life example. I gave up diet Coke many, many years ago, but sometimes when I'm really, really stressed and I have got to get stuff done, I'll have one, because it makes me just feel so happy. I don't know if it's the memories or what, but it just lifts me up and it feels good. And I'm not going to beat myself up about it because I'm taking care of myself, and sometimes things that are quote unquote 'unhealthy' can be helpful in the moment, which is why the no judgment piece is important. Okay, so I asked the question and you might be wondering, rightfully so, how do I know the answer? How do I know if I should order a diet Coke? And I tell you what the answer is? Not always yes. And it's not always no.

(04:59)

So, when I asked the question and I close my eyes, and honestly I've practiced a lot, I don't always have to close my eyes, but I take a deep breath and I will feel my body as if it were being pulled in a direction, literally the sensation of my body moving in a particular way. If I feel pulled forwards, like I'm moving forwards; that's a yes for me. And if I feel like I'm contracting, like i'm moving backwards away, then I know it's a no. And this is something that I have practiced for years and years, and years. And just on tons of little tiny decisions to start with and not big decisions. And, you know, you start with these small decisions to learn, what does a yes feel like in my body? What does a no feel like in my body? Honestly, I find this so incredibly helpful, and I would guess I probably do this at least 10 times a day. Whenever I'm making a decision and I'm not positive, or just like feeling unclear as to whether it's in my best interest or not. I sit, take a deep breath and I ask the question; should I send this email right now? Should I take a break? Or this happens a lot for me, if I wake up in the morning and I'm really itching to check my phone; it's a hard impulse to break. Um, I'll just check. Like, do I need to check my phone right now? And most of the time the answer is no, but sometimes it's like, "Yes, girl, you are so stressed. What's on the phone. Just go check, see if there's an emergency and then get back to your routine." And the beautiful thing about this is, that there's no wrong answer and there's no judgment.

(06:46)

I really would encourage you to try this out and do some exploring and experimenting, and see what direction or motion or movement feels good to you. And what feels like a no. The key is to practice, and especially to practice with little baby decisions that aren't high stakes, right? Because the more you ask yourself, if something is the right choice for you in the moment, even with really small tasks, the more you're able to hone your intuition. So for example, you might pick something that you know a hundred percent, you have no doubts that this is the right choice, and still ask yourself so that you can learn; what does a yes feel like for me? Or if something is a hundred percent a no, this is a bad idea. Ask yourself and feel what that no feels like in your body.

(07:42)

One that I like to do when I really want to hone in my intuition, is it a good idea to go brush my teeth? It is. It's always a good idea for me to brush my teeth, but I can build the muscle and that little thing, I can feel what that yes feels like in my body. And then, when I'm in high stress, more, you know, important moments, trying to figure out what to do, I'm on the top of my game, like, I know what a yes feels like in my body and my intuition is just getting stronger and stronger. And one key thing I want to point out here is that your intuition gets stronger when you listen to it. So, if I'm doing energy testing on a diet Coke… riding this example, all the way out to the end. And I get a clear no, but I do it anyways. That's okay, that's my choice. But it's also sending a message to myself, that I don't listen to myself and my needs, right? So that kind of like weakens your intuition. It's like, I'm not trusting my intuition. I'm not in alignment with myself. When I hear a clear yes or no, I work to honor it. And if I'm not going to honor it, I just name it. It's like, I know I'm hearing this as a bad idea, but I'm doing it anyways. And that will happen. And it will all be part of learning.

(09:03)

The key again is going back to the first point is, just don't judge yourself. Don't judge yourself for what you want. Don't judge yourself for needing to practice or making mistakes, just start experimenting. See and learn what it feels like to listen to yourself. What does a yes feel like to you? What does a no feel like to you? Really practice letting your intuition guide you and allow it to take care of yourself and your needs. I hope this was helpful to you. Again, this is something that you can practice at any time on any decision. And just with everything, let it be easy. Give yourself grace, be kind and trust yourself, right? And you know, this is practicing, learning to trust yourself and practicing, really getting in touch with your needs. And, when you get really in touch with your needs and honor them, and trust yourself, you're going to find that you are happier, you're healthier. And importantly, for you as a Graceful Rulebreaker, that you're able to sustain creating these positive changes in the world because you are having your needs met.