Season 1: Ep.24 - On Entrepreneurship

(00:21)

Hello and welcome back to Graceful Rulebreakers. I'm your host, Kirsten Lee Hill, and I am so excited that you've tuned in today. I want to talk about entrepreneurship, specifically about two questions I am often asked, two questions that are really two sides of the same coin. The first is why be an entrepreneur? And the second is how do I know if I should quit my job and be an entrepreneur? If you take an untraditional path, it's not uncommon to have your choice questioned. Why be an entrepreneur? It's challenging. It's unstable. You had this quote unquote easy non-traditional path all laid out for you. For me, it's like…Kirsten, you could have been a professor. You could have worked for a research firm. You could have had stability. Why do your own thing? Why be an entrepreneur? Then on the flip side, there are people who say, I think I'm ready to quit my job. I think I want to be an entrepreneur, but I'm not really sure. And then they ask, "How do I know if that's the path I should go down?"

(01:43)

In my opinion, the first question, why being an entrepreneur? Is much easier to answer than the second. Is it right for me? First off, let me set the record straight; I think all the other things that I could have been are hard. I don't necessarily think that any of those more traditional paths would have been any easier. The grass is always greener. There are always trade-offs based on the choices we make, and only you can decide what is the right fit for you. For me, fit comes down to being able to live a life of integrity. I want to give you my definition of integrity, because I'm really passionate about defining words. I think a lot of times we go about our day to day life using words, oftentimes it's buzzwords, but just really words in general, assuming that everyone else defines them the same as we do. We assume, but are not actually certain, that we are speaking a common language because people use and interpret words differently.

(02:40)

It takes conversation and specificity to land on some shared definition that allows us to move forward. So for me, integrity means living a life where I get to choose to do things that are aligned with my values. Integrity is when the actions I take and what I support in life, are aligned with what I believe at my core. Other people might say integrity is doing the right thing or being honest. And it definitely could be all of the above. But the piece that I care about is alignment. I know my core values. I know what I really believe in, and the way I'm living my life; it fits. I'm living a life of integrity, and for me in particular, I didn't want to have to take on clients whose work I felt was low quality or that I didn't really believe in. I didn't want to have to approach projects following a protocol or a system that I felt was outdated or potentially harmful, or just annoyingly frustrating.

(03:39)

I really didn't want to follow someone else's rules or standards. I wanted to tune into my beliefs and live a life fully in alignment with them. And to me, being an entrepreneur affords me that level of integrity. It puts me in control of my destiny. I can honestly tell you that not only do I dislike doing work that I don't wholeheartedly believe in, but I'm not very good at it. It pains me to such an extent that I'm willing to walk away, whatever the consequence. The other day, a client of mine actually reminded me of this. We're on a call and she said, one of the things I really like about you, that I really noticed about you, is how you stick to your values and your beliefs. There had been this point in our project together last year, where people wanted to make some sort of change to the language we were using, and it was going to affect our survey and our data collection, and I felt like our logic model… and while I believe in the freedom of choice, I believe that the clients I work with are entitled to their own opinions, of course, and at the end of the day, it's their business. It's their thing. I'm in a supporting role. They should be able to do whatever they want to do, but some choices are getting made that I felt were out of alignment. They made the communications a little murky and I was questioning the end result and recommendation, because I felt like it was not in integrity with the goals we had set. And so I said, you can do that if you want, but I don't want my name on it. Wasn't the first time I've said this, won't be the last.

(05:13)

I think it can be jarring to people or upsetting because that's such a firm statement or seems so extreme. Like, take my name off the project. Don't give me any credit for all this work we've done, because I don't agree with where it's going. And I don't do it to be mean or leave people hanging. I do it to have integrity. I really can't put my backing behind something that I don't fully believe in. This is how I ended up as an entrepreneur. It would be very difficult to be employed by a business and be like… Hey, no, I'm not doing that. I don't agree with it, so I'm going to pass. I'll have the hard conversations and learn more, and try to come to a mutual understanding. But sometimes at the end of the day, I value things differently than you value things. And it's an impasse. Perhaps this is an outdated perception, but for me in my experience, if I'm working for someone else, I have a boss at the end of the day, I kind of have to do what they say or risk getting fired.

(06:14)

I imagine there are some companies out there that share the value of freedom, and really letting employees own their work, and they want to support and help you grow as an individual, right? I think those probably exist. But when I was looking for a job, I could not find any space that was going to set me up to thrive. I found a lot of cold, hard, strict systems that I would have to smush myself into, and I foresaw this future of having to do a lot of work that wasn't that exciting to me, and that I didn't necessarily agree with. And just kind of having to put in the time, put in the hours, climb that ladder until I'd reached a level of prestige where I could do what I want. I had a choice; I could compromise in my values and hope that one day I'm able to do what I want, or I could create my own space… and I say choice, but to be totally transparent, I really didn't feel like I had a choice in the sense that the answer was so clear, in my bones and my body, I could absolutely not envision going to work somewhere that didn't light me up, that didn't give me autonomy and freedom, and allow me to create and be my authentic self.

(07:21)

I have the privilege, emphasis on privilege because I had access to credit cards and wasn't responsible for anyone but myself. I had the privilege to struggle on my own and it was fun and exciting on some days, and it was scary and disheartening on others. I decided to go out on my own and I didn't have a straight path from that moment on. About six, maybe seven months into running my own business, I caved to the financial pressure. I wasn't generating enough income to support myself, and I was getting into a good chunk of debt and I couldn't see a way out. So I took a traditional path job and I'll tell you what; I knew I wanted to quit after my first day.

(08:04)

No joke, day one, I knew I wanted to quit. I felt so restricted, just like a cog in a machine and I hated it. It was absolutely not for me. I held out for a few months and it was an excellent lesson to me in the type of pain and suffering I would prefer, namely, I personally would much rather be broke and doing something I love then making pretty good money, doing something that is not my life's work. It's not always a choice between money and happiness. I totally believe that you can have it all. You just have to find the packaging that whatever it all is for you, comes in. To make those decisions, you have to be crystal clear on your values. Originally, I was valuing freedom and my creativity and autonomy the most, and so I went with entrepreneurship. And then at some point in that path, I started to ask where's my stability?

(09:04)

I didn't really have any at all, and I started to place a lot of value on stability. I wanted a more traditional, predictable job. And both of those choices, entrepreneurship, more traditional job, maybe even a choice in the middle, like an innovative, not traditional job, but still working for someone else, right? Any of these choices are okay. Some people value stability. Some people value structures and clear pathways. And if that's what works for you generally, or that's what's calling to you right now. Great. What I learned from just one day in the traditional structure is that I value freedom and I value thinking differently, and I value being embraced for thinking differently, more than anything else. And so if I'm ever starting to think I value stability more than those things, I'm just scared. I'm stressed, I'm run down, I'm going to the next level. Something is up because stability is not a core value of mine.

(10:05)

This past year in particular has forced a lot of reevaluation of where we're at in life, and if you were in the space where you're evaluating, whether or not you should go out on your own, you know, leave your traditional job and become an entrepreneur. I want to share four things that will either get you thinking, "Nope, not for me," or make the entrepreneurship route an easier, more graceful transition for you.

First things first, decide what matters to you.

Theme of this episode; what do you value? Do you want stability and predictability? Do you want someone to set up structures for you? Do you want reliable income every month? Do you like having oversight? Do you like working with a bunch of people? Having a really clear path laid out? Or do you want to set your own schedule? Do you want to create your own product or program, or services? Do you want to be your own boss?

(10:56)

I also think about; where can I accomplish my mission in life, my life purpose, where will I get to work on what lights me up? What I think is important. Where will I get to use the knowledge and skills that make me special? Sketch out what you value most and identify what fits. At the end of the day, the goal isn't to be an entrepreneur because that's better, it's to be an entrepreneur because that's what fits for you. In society, I think there can be a stigma around having a more traditional job and hype around being an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur is cool and working a traditional job is boring or sad. I don't think that's true at all. Traditional needs a glow up. Tradition can be great. The only bad job is the job that doesn't align with your values.

(11:44)

Number two; go all in.

If you want to make it as an entrepreneur, the key is to commit. For me, when I've struggled the most is when I'm being indecisive and wishy-washy about my worth and what I want, and just attracting confusing situations because part of me wants to do my own thing, and part of me wants this job over here, and part of me is like… Oh, maybe I should enter this totally different field. That is confusing to the universe, and it's also confusing to the people you're sharing your goals and dreams with who could help you along the way. The minute I got clear about what I wanted, like, this is what I want to do. This is what I value. This is the path I want to go down. I'm all in. I'm not on LinkedIn searching for other job opportunities or emailing contexts about teaching at this place over here. I'm all in. And the minute I decided, I'm all in, I'm starting my own business, I'm all in, doors open for me. And that doesn't mean it's always easy, it's definitely not always easy, but I don't think you can be successful as an entrepreneur, If you have one foot out the door. You absolutely have to bet on yourself.

(13:02)

Three, share your passion.

You don't have to have the perfect pitch or words to describe what you do or want to do. Seriously, I iterate on my tagline all the time, but you do have to tap into the passion and your values, and share what lights you up with others. If you're able to share this with people and you're consistently on message, this is what I'm good at, this is what I'm really excited about, here's how I think I can be of service to the world. Well then you're in people's minds and when new opportunities come up, they think of you and they reach out, and it's amazing. Some of the best months I spent when I was just getting started with my business were going on coffee dates, a lot of coffee dates to learn from others in my field and share my passions. I would go out with all these amazing people and ask, what do you do? Why is that exciting to you? What types of things do you need support with? And then I would share what I was excited about, and I did this for months with lots and lots of people, which brings me to number four, be patient.

(14:10)

There are coffee dates that I went on talking about what I was passionate about, and sharing what I could do that didn't translate into any tangible client or project for years. Four years, honestly. But when the time was right for collaboration, it was right and it was incredible. Even people who make it look like they've had overnight success, probably didn't. Success takes time. It's not that it has to be a struggle and be difficult, and feel burdensome or take ages and ages. But it does take time. It takes time to make connections and link up with the people who can help you grow and launch your business and career in the direction you want to go. So be patient, even if it doesn't appear like things are immediately paying off. It's all part of this grand plan, right? Your job is to show up, be you, trust the process.

(15:07)

So a quick little recap, highlights reel of being an entrepreneur or deciding you don't want to be an entrepreneur. Decide what matters most to you. This is such a theme in my podcast I'm realizing… specificity, knowing your values, what do you care about? What type of life do you want to live? Again, there is no wrong answer. The goal is to live in alignment with how you want to feel, how you want to be, how you want to show up and interact in the world. So decide what matters to you most and then go all in, decide and be done with it. Don't keep looking back or to the left and to the right, agonizing over the decision. Decide on the path you want to go down and go for it. Then keep sharing your passion. Talk about what lights you up, what you're good at, how you want to show up in the world, how you want to help others and be patient. It's not that there's a wrong path. It's that there is a wrong path for you. I truly believe this.

(16:08)

The world needs people in all sorts of roles. It's just about finding what works for you. What feels good for you? What kind of discomfort can you find ease in? And just so you know, it's okay to pivot. You can change your mind. Going all in doesn't mean you're locked into this path for the rest of your life. But it does mean in this moment, you're choosing to put the full force of your faith and passion, and efforts behind this path. You're going to give it a real chance. If you're trying to find your fit in the world or create your fit in the world, these are big, big, big things to tackle, big decisions to make. How are you going to invest your time? What are you going to do with your life? Big, important questions. Answering them, choosing the path, it's going to feel amazing. I really urge you to continue doing the work. Keep seeking clarity on what matters to you and find spaces that align with that. And if the space isn't there, make your own.