Season 2: Ep. 02 - On Credibility

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Hello, and welcome back to Graceful Rulebreakers. I'm your host, Kirsten Lee Hill. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about credibility, about what makes someone credible and about what makes someone think that they're credible. With that, I've been reflecting on two psychological phenomena, if you will, one - I bet you heard of Imposter Syndrome and the other, well, it's basically the flip side of imposter syndrome, it's called the Dunning Kruger effect. Imposter Syndrome is basically when you feel like you aren't as good as people think you are, you think you're going to get found out. It's like thinking your achievements and anything good you've done in life is just luck, that you're not really deserving or good enough to be considered an expert or, you know, amazing. You're basically waiting for people to realize that you aren't really that smart or really that great. It's something that a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners struggle with, myself included.

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The opposite, the Dunning Kruger effect, is when you overestimate your competence or how good you are at something. It comes from a paper written by two psychologists at Cornell who found that on a variety of trades, people who performed in the bottom quartile, so worse than the majority of people included in the test, rated themselves above average at the same traits. So, it's like being objectively bad at something, but thinking you're actually quite good at it. And so the hypothesis there was that these people lacked the self-awareness to accurately assess themselves. I'll say, like, this study has been contentious, um, just in terms of interpreting its effects, and if you've been keeping up with me on TikToK or Instagram, you'll see I love to dive into, you know, the core features of studies and whether or not we should really extrapolate all that we do from them.

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But what I like about the Dunning Kruger effect and imposter syndrome is they are interesting thought exercises. How many people do you know, who are incredibly talented and amazing, but doubt themselves and might feel like an imposter sometimes. And on the flip side, how many people do you either know or do you see in the online social media space who are super confident, and like really out there pushing their stuff, but perhaps don't actually have deep expertise. For me, I can think of a ton in both camps. I think that there's a lot that we can learn from reflecting on these two psychological phenomena that will enable us to be able to move forward feeling more confident in our own expertise, and also allow us to be much more discerning and make better decisions about what experts to look towards as we continue to grow and further ourselves.

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I know for me personally when I reflect on this, one of the reasons I fall into the Imposter Syndrome is because I am so aware of what I don't know, the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. Does that sound familiar? For me, Imposter syndrome manifests as playing small. For me, my logic is if I play small, there's less pressure. There aren't as many people who might find me out. It won't be as embarrassing when I get found out because I'm playing small. It's just going to be like a small failure or a small scandal, or I can only play small because I'm really, I'm just like not quite good enough to play big yet, you know? And it makes me laugh because I'm over here playing small, worried that I'm not expert enough to help more people or expert enough to speak or teach.

 (04:41)

And meanwhile, I'm observing so, so, so many people in my space who are claiming expertise and showing up super confidently, but who are actually lacking in the relevant experience. Some of these people, and this really makes me giggle, use the word self-proclaimed expert. And on the one hand, I love it because it's super accurate. It's like I am self proclaiming that I'm an expert, but on the other hand, it really irritates me when I see people who are self-proclaimed experts and surveys, or research, or evaluation, and I see them in other fields too, but fields I'm not an expert in. So, you know, I have less of a standing to say anything, but you know, in business or copywriting or marketing, and I always just have paused, like you just proclaimed yourself an expert, even though you don't have a lot of experience in this space, like you don't have a degree or credential, but you don't have deep expertise either.

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And it bothers me because I really value expertise. And there are people who are objectively not experts going around and selling to people because they are confident, perhaps even over confident, in their skills. And then there are these deeply skilled experts who are not feeling comfortable going out and helping these people to the greatest extent possible playing on these big stages, because they're worried that they're secretly frauds.

(06:17)

It's, it's wild, right? And so for the people who don't have the skills, but are able to go out there, I really honestly I admire their confidence, something that I could definitely learn from them and for the people who do have the skills and the expertise, and don't go out there, I deeply feel for them because I have that fear too. To me, the fact that this happens is a call to action to all of us who deal with Imposter Syndrome to step up our game, because right now our people are out there getting support by someone who is able to speak more loudly and confidently than perhaps we are able to at this time, and they're getting support from someone who isn't as expert as us, right? Because they have those other skills, and to me that's a call for us to really work on owning our expertise, so we can step into that space and give our gift to other people and help to make the world better, because at the end of the day, people who don't have the deep expertise in our spaces, like being able to run the show, like to me, that's wrong actually, and there are many instances when I look at people in the education space and in the survey space, and I think about the great disservice they have been done by working with someone who didn't actually have deep expertise in that area, right? Like in my case, like they're actually not asking the best questions they could be asking. They're not getting the best information they could be asking, right? And I think this is a parallel on all these fields that when we play small and hold ourselves back, because we're waiting to feel ready, someone else is going to step in and they're not always going to be as qualified or credible or expert as you, no matter how they present, and that does a disservice to the world.

(08:31)

And something I want to be really clear about with credibility is, I do not think you need a fancy degree to be credible. Credibility is about your experiences translating to a skill, right? And so I use the word, like, deep expertise a lot. Like, you don't have to have a degree in something, but you could have many years or many hours of experience invested in learning and doing things that give you that same deep credibility as if you were to get a degree. And similarly, some people get degrees but don't actually have deep expertise, right? Because you could have just been good at school and going through the motions and graduated with a degree, but not gotten the deep expertise, right? Like it cuts both ways. Which means that to demonstrate your credibility, I think the best way you can do this is to be super specific about the experience that you have. A degree could represent credibility, like, you worked really hard in school, you got good grades, you did apprenticeships, whatever it is, the courses you took, like that can build credibility a hundred percent. You could also talk about how many hours of experience you have or how many clients you've worked with on this. And, you know, the key is to be detailed about your experiences. What makes you an expert?

(10:04)

And I'll tell you what doesn't make you an expert, you self proclaiming you're an expert, doesn't make you an expert, but similarly, someone else saying, 'Hey, you're an expert,' that doesn't make you an expert either. Like instead, I honestly would say present people with information that is relevant and allow them to decide if they think you're an expert or they think you're the expert for them, right? Say here's my experience, this is what I have done that is relevant to what you're asking me to do, or relevant to what I think I can do for you and put that out there. And what I think is great about that, is that in addition to allowing your experiences and skills, and characteristics to speak to your expertise, you're additionally by like compiling an inventory in these things, reaffirming to yourself your expertise, like, this is a great way to combat Imposter Syndrome is to actually think through all of the things and hours, and time, and awards, and experiences, and activities, all of these things that you have done that make you an expert.

(11:18)

When you are venturing into a new space and doing things maybe nobody's ever done before, or doing things people have done before, but doing it differently and you're blazing new trails and redefining success and gracefully breaking rules, and I think it's totally normal in those situations to have imposter syndrome flare up.

(11:42)

Imposter Syndrome is really like humility gone too far, right? Because it's humility, like, 'Oh, like, I'm not really that great,' that's turned into doubt, like, maybe I'm not really that smart. And I kind of get that then there's the fear that, like, as an imposter, you're suddenly going to turn into someone who is overly confident about abilities you don't really have. It's tricky, right? It's like, because it's two sides of the same point. It's either being really highly competent and doubting it or not being competent and thinking you're awesome. And if you're like me and an over-thinker, you could be like, but what if I think I have imposter syndrome, but I'm really like Dunning Kruger because I'm not that good at something, and I think I'm better than I am, and it's just like this twisted mind game that we are using to hold us back from our fullest potential.

(12:44)

So, how do you walk this line between overstating or overestimating your skills and expertise, and underestimating them, right? Like how do you figure out your level of credibility, and feel confident, and really own it? I want to share three things that have really helped me with Imposter Syndrome. The first is this, to be really specific about what it is I'm an expert in and tie it to tangible real-world experience. Maybe part of that's a credential, maybe it's not, doesn't matter, but the more specific I am and explaining what I do to other people, the more confident I feel because I'm not overgeneralizing. I'm just being like, 'Hey, I'm really good at helping people to ask better questions.’ I feel great saying that, right? Like it's very precise. I know that's, like, I've drilled down to such a granular level that I know that that's something that I have a lot of expertise in and that I'm good at. And so I think that specificity lends to confidence that helps with imposter syndrome. The other thing that I think is really helpful is humility, being able to say, I don't know and I will get back to you on that. Or just like, again, like being open to learning and reflecting, and self-assessing, I think that this humility is so key, so that you're not overstating what you can do or what your level of experience is. If you are super specific and have humility, you are not going to overstate your abilities, right? You're just not because you've drilled down to be really specific. You're admitting when you don't have the answers or you don't know something, and if on top of that, that specificity in humility comes from you actually reflecting on your experiences and how they contribute to your deep expertise, you are going to have an accurate self-aware assessment of your ability, which is super exciting because then you actually have evidence that you can draw on to feel confident. And I have struggled with confidence for so many years, for most of my life, and you know, I'm just speaking from my personal experience, being able to look at the facts and evidence and use that to build confidence, I find that to be really powerful. And, you know, even I think back to this exercise, which I've probably mentioned like twice on those podcasts, if it's sounding familiar, it's your sign to go do it, but making the list of things that you are good at.

(15:54)

And just having that on hand. And if you want, you know, in research, we talk about triangulating data, which means, like, you get multiple perspectives or multiple sources to see if they all kind of say the same thing, and you could do this, you could make a list, you could have a friend make a list. You could have a colleague make a list, and then it's not just you saying you're good at something. Maybe it's you and also your colleague or your friend also says it, or maybe it's you and also you have an award, right? So you have multiple pieces of evidence and you can use that to build your confidence. The third thing that's really helped me with Imposter Syndrome is being able to recognize and lift up other experts. I am the queen of outsourcing. I love to find whoever is expert at something that I am not and collaborate with them or refer to them and work with them. And to me, like, tapping into that network and recognizing other people's expertise, it helps me to feel more confident in what I do and just to kind of like, share opportunity, right? Like I don't have to pretend to be really good at something I'm not good at, I can just refer you to the super amazing person who's good at it. And I think that that confidence and recognizing others has really also helped me with Imposter Syndrome, and just reaffirmed what it is that I do know and me knowing what I know and being aware of what I don't know.

(17:32)

To me that is like truly the mark of an expert is the awareness to recognize what you don't know. And it's really a Mark of confidence too, to be able to say, I don't know that, right? Again, like, let me get back to you. Or I don't know that here's this other person you could talk to. Like, I want to normalize those things being like extremely cool badass things to do, because it is, it's powerful to say, I don't know and it's kind and very expert like to refer out to someone else who would know. To end, I want to say this; if you are struggling with Imposter Syndrome, please make the list. Look for the evidence, get specific about what it is that you are really an expert in, and if that is something that lights you up, show up in a big way. Maybe you take baby steps, but show up in a big way and support the world. It is normal to have doubts. I would say it's even, it's good to be self-aware and reflect on what you do and don't know, but don't let that hold you back.